12 Lessons From A Brother
Today is the 12th Day of Christmas! I only know this fact because it's also my brother Mark's birthday. As a family we liked that Mark was born when 12 Lords were Leaping because dancing (and generally carrying on) have always been a big part of my brother's life.
One of the most vivid memories I have was when Mark reenacted Mick Jagger's move from a Rolling Stones concert for me and my sister. His imitation was dead on, and, I might add, no sister should watch her brother move like that!
Mark met his wife, Rebecca, in a dance class. These days Mark and Rebecca spend most Mondays swing dancing with Cal Poly students at Madonna Inn. (My sister and I, pictured to the right, couldn't keep up during our recent visit!)
Whatever the Lords of Leaping are all about, undoubtedly my brother belongs with them!
So, in his honor, I thought it was worth noting at least twelve lesson's he's "gifted" me with over the years. If you have a brother yourself, a few of these may sound familiar.
Lesson One - Ignore Gross
Do all brothers burp in their sisters' faces? Is it their responsibility to pee into a cup, all over the toilet seat, or hand towels? Do they show the girls how to "Blue Flame" when they fart? Is it in a brother's job description to dissect the dead frog/lizard/critter in the road in front of their siblings? I can't imagine the shock I'd have had in parenting my son had I not had a brother to teach me that "gross" is just a state of mind.
Lesson Two - Experiment With Your Hair
If you're getting haircuts at a regular pace, why repeat? Switch it up! Change! Try something new! Be Bold! (Mark doesn't use as many explanation points as I, but you get the drift.) I am still learning this lesson and don't have nearly as many varieties in my pictures. I wish I would have tried a few different things during the 80's.
Lesson Three - Learn Something!
My brother is driven by learning and trying on new hobbies, picking up new skills, and growing. This is why he not only brews his own beer, but grows his own hops.
Lesson Four - Teach What You've Been Taught
Learning is really only half of the game. When you master something, you never, ever keep it to yourself. You teach. Mark is a gifted instructor, particularly if what you're trying to learn involves a sport. In the picture below, my daughter is getting an anatomy lesson about California quail after a successful hunt.
Lesson Five- The Water's Warm
The only way to really learn is to try. After all the instruction is given and the lessons taught, Mark pushes for action. Growing up, this meant I jumped off the cliffs right after my big brother. (Literally and figuratively! It's a wonder we survived childhood!) For Mark's kids, this meant they learned despite "boo-boo" faces.
Lesson Six- Listen to Your Spouse
For years my brother used to say he never enjoyed a date more than a great wave. Fortunately for all of us, Rebecca came along and was far greater than the Pacific. As strong as Mark is, he knows the only way he leads effectively is when he's a servant. Ask Rebecca - she'll tell ya!
Lesson Seven - Goofy Works
Anyone can pull off goofy. Strong wind? Grab a pole and hang on (see below). Need to get someone's attention? Try a Tarzan yodel. Need a stupid human trick? How about putting your whole fist in your mouth?
I've never been afraid to be goofy because I knew compared to my big brother, I was an amateur.
Lesson Eight- Play Always
If you're 12 and under, you're guaranteed to think Mark hung the moon. If you're a kid around my brother, the game - whatever game - is ON. Wrestling, Cannonball contests, Hide & Seek, Nertz, Frisbee - all on the docket! Ready. Set. Play!
Lesson Nine - Aim Matters
Direction, not intentions decide where you end up. Conceptually, this is how Mark lives. He looks for clear goals before moving. He wants to dance without inhibition, so he puts himself in challenging dance environments. He wants to focus on quality family time, so he unplugged the TV (He did this YEARS ago!). He wants to be able to give grace, so he's practicing forgiveness. And, of course, he's always aiming at quail.
Lesson Ten - Prioritize Family
I've watched my brother & sister-in-law parent for 23 years, and I can only pray that my kids enjoy us as much as their kids enjoy them. With all of Mark's hobbies and interests, he's always managed to hurry home and be around the kids. Of course, he also taught them how to "pull my finger" and "ignore gross" (see lesson one!), but I won't judge...
Lesson Eleven - Love God, Love Others
Mark will tell you his purpose in those four words. Love God. Love Others. He'll also tell you that he fails at both and needs grace. This clarity and humility is what I admire most in my big brother.
Lesson Twelve - Take a Nap
For heaven's sake -- Get Your Rest. There's a lot of living to be done!I suppose it's not unusual for a kid sister to admire her older sibling, but Mark makes it a pretty easy. He's not only a man OF character, but he IS a character.
Happy Birthday Bro! I love you!