What's your purpose?
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.”– Stephen Covey
What are your biggest priorities? Are you addressing those priorities regularly? Do they serve your over-arching purpose?
Do you know? (Check your calendar and your bank statement for important clues.)
Do you say you value your family, but struggle to get home before your kids' bedtime? Perhaps you want to be more charitable, but live in a cycle of debt? Maybe you’d like to drop a few pounds, but you start every meal with a tasty slice of bread...
If you’re like me, I think the tension usually does NOT come from my need to eliminate “bad” things, but rather my need to cut back what’s “good.” I don't have much "bad" per se, but I have lots of "good." What I need is "best," but most of the time I don't even think about good vs. best; I just try to avoid the bad.
In fact for me, the more subtle but true pressure is keeping my vision for the "best" in clear sight.
Covey’s point isn’t simply to be better at saying “no,” but to be passionate about saying “yes” to the highest priorities. When your goals are part of a higher plan, the “no” comes easier; you've reserved your “yes” for only those things which serve the bigger purpose. The purpose has to be so critical and central to who you are that it's impossible to ignore or forget.
Think of the cycle this way:
Purpose drives priorities. Priorities drive decisions. Decisions drive the yes/no response to opportunities.
So if you only answer one question this year, tackle one that matters.
What’s your purpose?