Why is love so tiring?
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.C.S. Lewis
I understand why parents let their kids run amok.
Some days being the grownup in the relationship feels too exhausting.
Whether it's the fragile emotions, the obstinate push for independence, or the streaming trail of stuff behind our short people, I find it easy to be discouraged.
Will I ever NOT have to repeat instructions? Will my kids ever want to keep their stuff tidy on their own? Will I ever fully control my impatience with the question gun? Will siblings ever stop pestering each other?
These are the questions every parent asks.
I love my children in ways I can't describe, but the love I enjoy most is the snuggle-time, eewy-gooey, read a book, talk about life, everyone-gets-along kind of love. THAT kind of love makes my heart flutter, but the other nonsense, well, not so much.
Everything else makes me want to take a nap.
However, I honestly believe the difference between good, solid parenting and extraordinary parenting is the amount of "EXTRA" in the relationship. Parenting wins happen in the middle of the struggle.
Wins happen when we go up to the room and talk through our child's developing emotions WITH them.Wins happen when we engage in those tough conversations and plow through all of the assorted obstacles along the way.
I wish victory dances worked when life is easy, but anyone can celebrate during giggles. Parents are called to be something more, to show up when feelings fade and exhaustion sets in.
When showing up, talking it out, and elevating values over emotions feels like a tall order; when you're not sure you can correct your child One. More. Time., chances are you're doing it right.
Be encouraged. Love that fights for someone's ultimate good, always requires extra energy.
You are fighting a good fight!