You are in charge of you
My son can make loud, annoying sounds that drive my daughter into a tailspin. He knows when he makes these noises, his sister inevitably will move from a polite request (“Stop, please”) to a scream (“CUT IT OUT!”) to a smack upside the head.
Still, he’s the little brother and part of his job description is to pester, so he persists.
When the cycle starts, without fail we have to correct both kids. According to our daughter, this isn’t “fair” (I think fairness is overrated) because she wasn’t the instigator of the conflict.
Even if this is true (I concede nothing to my “mini-me”), I stress that she is ALWAYS responsible for how she responds to her brother, regardless of how she feels.
She is in charge of herself. Period.
Of course, personal responsibility is a lesson I’m still learning as an adult. Even when I’m aware of my shortfalls, I often shift blame away from my decisions and onto circumstances.
Do I have a bad attitude? My kid was sick in the middle of the night.
Is my retort mean, sarcastic, or edgy? I was provoked by the “idiocy” of the person I was talking to.
I’m late? Traffic was terrible.
Am I unable to spend the time I should with you? Work makes me “busy.” (There’s that four-letter word again!)
If you’re like me, you know the drill. Rarely do we look in the mirror. When there’s a problem, blame is easier than reflection.
This is a dangerous habit because failure to own our issues ultimately stunts our growth. If we want to change, we have to be willing to look at our faults honestly.
If we shift the blame for our actions to our circumstances, then we will always be tossed about by the challenges of the day. In the example above, the problems are impatience, bitterness, and a lack of discipline in ME, not in merely tedious events.
What about you? Do you ever behave like a grown-up version of a sister or brother, assuming that your behavior is dictated by the situation around you, OR do you acknowledge your response as a decision you control?
Who is in charge of you?